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Harriett – 09/08/2013

We found out that our baby had something wrong at our 12 week scan. It turned out that our baby girl had trisomy 13

After finding out that our baby had a lot of fluid behind her neck plus other problems, it felt like our world had come crashing down on us. There were so many unanswered questions, so many questions our heads felt like they were going to explode.

We were quickly booked in for a CVS hoping that would give us more information, after three very long days of waiting we were told she had Patau's syndrome.

Now we really had questions, I did as much research as possible to find out what was the best thing to do, never in my life did I ever think I would have to make this decision.

My partner, family and close friends we amazing giving me the support I need no one would tell me what to do as it had to be my decision. After many tears, much discussion and sleepless nights I finally made my mind up that I couldn't let my baby go through the pain she was going to go through, she had already got to many problems to deal with and I just didn't want her to be in pain as well.

Being told I would have to give birth was even harder, I feel so guilty for my decision and doubt I will ever forgive myself for giving up her fight but as a mum I couldn't deal with the pain she may go through.

After I gave birth the nurse told me I had made the right decision as she had a lot of problems already visible at 14 weeks into pregnancy.

We were able to see her, hold her and we named her Harriett, we had her blessed and are having a privet burial for her, as i feel its the last thing as a mum I can do for her.

Although everyone says I/we made the right decision it will never make it easier and the grief I feel is horrid. 

  Harriett will always be my first baby and she will always be loved and never forgotten. xxx

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Condition: T13
Relationship: Mother