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Matilda



Matildas Story

Wow where do I start on our story about my little angel…

We went to our 20 week scan expecting it to go like clockwork. Get to see our little girl in more detail. The lady doing the scan was taking a while, longer than I remember from previous 20 week scans, she then got another person in to confirm what she was seeing.

We were taken to a side room and told that they could see an abnormality around the mouth area and Matilda was covering her mouth with her hand. They found she had a bilateral cleft lip. My wife was upset but we said it is nothing that couldn’t be fixed by surgery when she was born. We were then sent to a senior consultant the following week for another scan to confirm what was found. On this scan they found other abnormalities, confirmed bilateral cleft lip, rocker feet, and congenital heart defect. We were taken to another room and were sat down to the consultant doing the scan, a heart surgeon and chief midwife. They explained that there was a 50/50 chance it could be Trisomy 13 or 18. They advised an amnio would confirm. But to also think about whether we wanted to carry on with the pregnancy. We went away to think about it but to be honest we didn’t need to long to mull it over. Termination was not an option for us.

We had the amnio done by a brilliant doctor who was absolutely brilliant the whole way through. She explained the procedure every step of the way and really put my wife at ease, which in turn put me at ease. We had to wait around a week for the results.

Before we got the results, my wife started to have contractions. Wow! This is too early. We went to the hospital; my wife was 23 weeks plus 4 days.

Matilda was born on 11th March 2019. She was born breathing. My little fighter! The senior doctor then asked me a question and I will never forget the question and how I felt at the time. He asked, ‘do you want us to intervene?’, what a silly question, ‘of course I do, do whatever you need to do!’. He then explained that due to Matilda being born at 23 + 4, her chances of survival were slim to none, but they can put her on a ventilator to help her breathe but she wouldn’t come off it. My wife and I looked at each other and both knew what each other was thinking. I told the doctor ‘please leave her alone’. She was wrapped up and given to my wife. We got to spend some quality time with Matilda, just the 3 of us.

Matilda passed away an hour after being born, my wife and I both saw her draw her last breath and go peacefully. Wow, nothing prepares you for this feeling. The feeling of being helpless in helping your child. We were taken to a bereavement suite and given the best support by Royal Worcestershire Hospital Midwife Team; they were absolutely incredible! They gave us a memory box and arranged for a photographer to take pictures of Matilda.

I then had to break the news to our 3 older children. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do! But they took it in their stride and wanted to meet her.

We found comfort in the fact that Matilda was in her mom’s arms and knew she was loved more than anything in the world when she passed!

A few days later, it was confirmed she had Patau’s syndrome.

We were discussing her name and what it should be. Matilda actually decided her own name. Matilda is a German name meaning ‘Strength In Battle.’ She was so strong in her battle to live. She did everything on her terms, she took every decision away from us and did it her way! We are immensely proud of her and the impact she had. She had such an impact on everybody around her in her short life.

Her funeral was full of bright colours and smiles and laughter, just the way, I’m sure she would have been in life!

She is our little Angel! 

 


Created: 28/07/2020 10:40

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