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Loss after Ending a Pregnancy 

The experience of loss after ending a pregnancy is often not well understood by those without personal experience. Parents are sometimes expected to get on with life and the loss is not acknowledged. Those around you, and even you yourself, may expect to feel better when the termination is over, but this is often not so and the weeks and months afterwards can be a time of great anger, guilt, sadness and even depression.

When any pregnancy ends there is likely to be a sense of loss and many parents describe a feeling of emptiness. There is no right way to grieve and no time limit for grief. We are all different and family and friends need to respect the way parents handle their grief in whatever way they wish. Bereavement begins as soon as a parent realises the baby has a serious problem, the dreams of a perfect child are shattered, and the future seems unsure. Some may view a termination of pregnancy as a solution and may not acknowledge your need to grieve at all. Only you knew your baby, others will not mourn in the same way, as they have no memories of their own. 

ARC have some useful resources for parents who have ended a pregnancy. In particular they have published a booklet of family experiences of ending a pregnancy, which some families may find helpful to read. 

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