After the Birth
The mother is usually able to go home shortly after. It is common to experience abdominal pain and bleeding but your doctor will tell you more about what to expect and when to seek help. Sometimes after ending a pregnancy in the later stages, breast tenderness and milk production can occur for a short time.
You may be asked for permission for a post mortem and it is up to you to agree or refuse.
Creating Memories
Before ending a pregnancy in the later stages parents can discuss what they want so that a ‘memories pack’ can be prepared with locks of hair, name band, hand print etc. Parents may want to see or hold baby, and this can help to release grief. If a parent does not want to see their baby, photographs, handprints or footprints can still be taken if you want. Parents often choose to name their baby and have a funeral or memorial event to acknowledge their baby’s life. Should you choose not to have a private funeral, the hospital will ensure your baby is laid to rest with dignity.
There are some further ideas for creating memories when a pregnancy ends
here.
Grief After Ending a Pregnancy
There can be lots of conflicting emotions after ending a pregnancy for abnormality and it is often not well understood by those without personal experience. At whatever stage a pregnancy is ended there is likely to be a great sense of loss and many parents describe a feeling of emptiness. There is no right way to grieve and no time limit for grief. Bereavement begins as soon as we realise the baby has a serious problem and the future seems unsure. It is important to feel you have the support you need at this difficult time.
Accepting Help
Help from hospital and community medical staff should be available. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness, the loss of a baby is devastating and anniversaries can reawaken the sadness. The team looking after you during the termination can give you details of local services, or your GP can be a useful source of support and resources.
It can also help to talk to someone impartial who has experience of Trisomy 13 or 18. Anyone affected by Trisomy 13 or 18 is welcome to
contact us.
Other useful resources include Healthtalk.org which has a number of interviews with parents who have elected to end a pregnancy following a diagnosis of Edwards' syndrome - Ending a pregnancy for fetal abnormality.
Also, Antenatal Results and Choices (ARC) has some very helpful resources, including a leaflet which has been written specifcally for parents who are considering a termination of pregnancy because an anomaly has been diagnosed in their baby.